Let's figure out why the bad outcome happen.
Be explicit about the standards, norms you're comparing to
Work out your own confusion about that expectation and figure out what the other person was experiencing
Then move to the "gap in performance"
in other words...
1. you're being very explicit about what you need somebody else to know,
2 .you're being open minded about what you could be missing
3. you're conducting the feedback in a way the other person feel enlisted
* Second you get in sync on what the reality was
* Third you look at the gap between those two
We all have expectations, consciously or not. When these do not match with our current situation, we make a "narrative" to try to explain what's wrong with us, other people or life and the world in general.
When it happens, we often search for the "guilty" person or stuff. At these moments, we fail to realize that we're caught up in confusion and need a feedback loop.